Note: This post is different than my other writing. It contains an open journal from me connecting to a part of me. When I am experiencing my internal process and connecting to a part of me, my language is more poetic with a ton of imagery. This is my process. Each of our processes is unique to us. I wanted to begin sharing my experience connecting with my inner world. In hoping that sharing will help others connect to their inner worlds, too.
Dearest Beautiful Human,
I promised myself last month that I would go to the sauna. I found myself with one more day left in May, so I made an appointment. I went to a new place in town, Sweat Houz. Sauna, light therapy, cold plunge, vitamin C shower, yes please. I promised myself that I would be diligent in recording my insights, thoughts, and feelings when I was in this flow state. So that I could share it on my blog. In IFS (Internal Family Systems), we go inward to spend a little time and witness parts of ourselves. The following experience is me witnessing a part of me that I found in my throat space.
An open journal page
From the sauna, May 31st, 2026:
I connect to the divine everywhere I am. Connecting into my throat. In my mind’s eye, I see all of this debris coming off like my throat was in space. Like my throat was entering another stratosphere, knocking all of this debris off my throat that had been stuck. I have this knowing that this part of me that lives in my throat was protecting me. That’s what all the debris represents. It was keeping me hidden, keeping me from speaking out. Keeping me safe until it was time to bring my voice out in the world. Now, I see a butterfly emerge, spreading her wings. Dreamy. Yummy feeling. I thanked my thyroid for protecting me. I realize it wasn’t the time to use my voice yet because the rest of my body couldn’t hold the contrast that comes with putting my truth out into the world. Out into the wild. For it to be torn down. My body wanted me to be able to hold my truth and to withstand the weird energy that people may cast toward me. There’s so much hate online, and I’ve been scared of it. I long to share and use my voice because I have powerful things to say. I’ve also been scared that my words would be used against me. But now I feel ready. Now I feel more embodied in who I am, no matter what anyone may think about me or what they may say.
After the meditative moment
After connecting with this part of me in my thyroid, I thanked the part for protecting me. For being there for me. I let the part know that I understand why I have felt so misunderstood and unheard in my life. I’m grateful to finally understand. I continued to enjoy the rest of the session with intuitive movement in the sauna, and finished with the cold plunge and vitamin shower.
Additional thoughts
I have felt so silenced my entire life. I even developed a thyroid disorder in my early twenties. Our bodies have a way of mirroring what is happening within us through physical sensations or symptoms. I felt as though I was screaming to be heard, but nobody ever truly heard me. The first human to ever really hear or see me was my first trauma therapist, whom I began seeing in my 30s.
FInding Meditative Moments
So many of us struggle to meditate because we hear the dos and don’ts. Trying to cultivate the perfect environment or time to meditate isn’t what it’s all about anyway. How someone connects inward is unique to them. To me, it is a meditative experience. But if you don’t resonate with the word meditate, then what about connecting, or returning inward? Finding moments throughout the week to drop into your body is so beneficial. Connecting with our inner worlds is getting into our bodies and out of our minds. When you connect inward, you are also connecting to God, Source, Creator, Universe, Higher Self, Self energy (IFS). Whatever name you resonate with. To me, it’s all the same. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. To tap into the divine is to journey further into ourselves because we are the divine. We are all part of the consciousness that travels beyond realms.
You don’t have to purposely make a time and place for meditation. You can just allow a meditation moment to find you wherever you are. That’s what works for me. Remembering to make space for these moments is more difficult than just surrendering to them when they come. I invite you to find moments throughout your week to drop into your body, to turn your attention inward, and just be curious about what you might learn. Just take a moment and literally pause and turn your attention inward. See what happens.
A little internal pull happens when there is an inner part of me that wants to be witnessed. Sometimes I listen. Sometimes I push it away because I forget to listen. But when I remember—magic happens. I journey further into myself and therefore feel more connected to the world and the otherworldly.
Your inner world is waiting for you to return. There is so much information waiting underneath the conscious mind. Information about understanding the past, witnessing younger parts of us that hold pain, and hints about the path forward to reach our dreams.
Capturing Insights when they come
I promised myself that when I got the urge to write, I would. This is my gift I’m meant to share with the world. I’m honoring the practice of listening to that whisper and then acting upon it. Bringing those pieces of gold lingering in the ethers into the physical realm through tangible action.
I told myself I would act and capture these profound moments of insight. When I don’t act upon them, they will float away and have to return later. When insight hits you, act then. Just even the smallest action of writing the thought, feeling, or insight down. Capture your insights and ideas before they float away and have to return. This is the way forward to our dreams.
The more creativity I use, the more creativity that flows from me. Writing is the same; the more one writes, the more one has to write about. The more I listen when my intuition whispers to me and act on it, the more my intuition will speak to me. The more connected I am to the divine.
Thanks for reading a different kind of post.
—Stephanie
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