Fitness is one of those things that ebb & flow in our lives. We change up our routines for so many reasons: location, availability, finances, mobility, interest, etc. The season of life we are in influences our fitness choices too. We all know the health benefits, and we know it’s a positive in our lives. So why does it seem so difficult sometimes? Let’s explore some reasons your fitness goals are struggling.
01. Aiming For Perfection Rather Than Consistency
I know when I would join a membership, or even if I was planning to join, I researched the types of classes and when and what time they happen. I would say to myself, I should go 3-4 times a week. I made a list of what days work best for me, and inevitably I would fall off my routine that I barely even created.
These days, I have more grace for myself. I remember the times when I thought that if I didn’t go every time I thought I should, then it would feel like I failed. If you miss one class or skip a few days, are you able to pick it back up, or does it feel more difficult to get back into it? Sometimes if we aren’t perfect, we can feel like we failed, and that stops our momentum. The way we speak to ourselves matters. Consistent means continuing to show up; it doesn’t mean perfect attendance or perfect performance.
02. Doing Too Much Too Soon
The best way to build habits that last is with intention. We all long for big change that happens fast, but building slower with intention allows for stronger integration into your new normal. You are putting something new into your already established routine. It takes discipline and time to adjust. Signing up for the class on a day and time that actually work for you, showing up, learning a new environment, new equipment, & new instructors. It’s a lot of new. Yes, fitness classes seem pretty easy. Show up and do the things that the instructor tells you, but it’s not always that simple.
Sometimes discipline is going to class when you don’t particularly feel like it. Sometimes discipline is choosing rest. Do we always know which is which? No. Some days we feel better after we dragged ourselves to class, and we end up feeling more energized. Or maybe we pushed too hard and feel lethargic. Oops.
Gradually increasing class loads can work in your favor because you didn’t go from 0 to 4 classes a week. That’s actually a big change. If you like to be extreme and that’s your jam, this blog post probably isn’t for you. That’s ok. I’m just trying to bring some validation and insights here.
03. You’re In Your Mind Rather Than In Your Body
I remember the days when I would go to fitness classes, whatever type it was- yoga, dance, cardio with weights- and I would feel awkward, nervous, and embarrassed. I would wonder when class would be over. Afraid to close my eyes in yoga, wondering if other people were actually closing their eyes too. It was before my healing journey, before I learned how to be in my body.
Now, I notice when other people seem embarrassed or don’t seem to be in their bodies. When I see this, I think back to my younger self and know how that person might be feeling. There are all levels of fitness, knowledge, and embodiment. Everyone is on their own journey. If we aren’t as knowledgeable, flexible, agile, or strong as the people around us, we can feel out of place even when we truly belong. If you are in your body, you are more focused on what’s going on inside of you rather than outside of you.
Do you find your mind wandering around the room? Of course, sometimes people are distracting. But in general, are you in your mind, or are you in your body? Does time pass by pretty fast or slow? Are you able to use your breath to anchor you throughout class, or do you hold your breath? Are you wondering what people might be thinking about you, or are you focused on yourself? Are you able to notice your strength, coordination, & embodiment improving, or do you feel like you are still chasing the movement? Are you in your body and out of your mind?!
04. There Isn’t Enough Play
Did you know nervous system states play a big role in your fitness experience? Increased heart rate, organized chaos, loud music, people you don’t know. None of these things are bad; it’s just impersonal and can be activating for the nervous system. At least, for mine. I’ve been reflecting on this and have noticed a difference.
I remember how my nervous system felt in barre-based fitness classes that I began in December 2025. I mostly attended the weight-lifting classes and the slower-paced classes. I thought I liked the classes enough; however, it always felt like I was forcing myself to go. The classes didn’t seem to get easier. I did all the things: arrived early, paced myself, found a spot in the corner. Working out felt like work, and that actually doesn’t work for me.
I ended up taking a break on my fitness journey for a few months while I dealt with life things. This summer, I started attending an adult ballet class. In the first class, I felt like myself. I was reminded of my love for ballet. I mean, I never really forget it in my mind, but my body was reminded. Dance and ballet bring a sense of play. Ballet is not easy. Ballet is very particular with posture, movement, and weight distribution. It’s about control and body alignment, with so many micro-adjustments. I love the details of ballet. It’s physically hard as well as a creative expression.
When I have safety with activation, I’m blending two nervous system states. My body isn’t only in the sympathetic, fight-or-flight state; it’s also in the ventral connected state. Dance is play to me, and play blends the two states together. With traditional fitness classes, I was mostly feeling activated and chaotic. With ballet, dance, and aerial, I feel connected.
I’ve noticed since being on my healing journey that I’m more in tune with my body. I realize how much I’ve been through and that my nervous system is still healing and evolving. I find that I can work harder and stress my body more in movement that I love. When I push myself its from a different place; it’s from a place of love and play. When I tried to push myself in the other classes, it felt forced. It felt like work. I also know that I respond better to slower, controlled movement rather than the more dynamic movement that feels chaotic to me. What type of movement does your body love the most?
The best workout to me is the one where I don’t realize how hard I’ve worked until the end of class. And I look forward to doing it again and again. Be curious: does your fitness need more art and play? When you’re working out, does it feel more like work, or does it feel like play? Maybe you need both.
Talk soon,
Stephanie
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