This is my experience attending the Untangling Our Roots Summit (UTOR) for the first time, as an adoptee and introvert who loves conferences.
What are the basics
- When: Every two years. This summit was the 3rd one.
- Where: Atlanta, GA – March 19-22, 2026. | Next UTOR summit will be in Seattle, WA, in 2028
- Who: Adoptees, Non-parental event (NPE)s, DNA surprise, donor-conceived humans, birthparents, adoptive parents, raising parents, professionals, & anyone else touched by these communities.
- Sponsored by: National Association of Adoptees & Parents (NAAP). DNAngels. Right to Know.
Why did i attend this conference
I was curious about how the experience would be and what I would take away from it, as I believed the conference would offer an expansion for me. I do love a conference, and I am an adoptee, so it was an easy decision to go. I knew I was starting this blog and thought it would be great to write a review of the conference. I always search for reviews before I commit to retreats and conferences. I’m sure I’m not the only one. I have been more immersed in the realm of other adoptees for the last few years, and I learned about this conference at an adoptee retreat held by my IFS therapist, who specializes in adult adoptees.
Arriving at Untagling our roots
After arriving at the hotel, I headed up to my room to rest for a few minutes before I made my way down to the conference center to check in. I received my name tag and beautiful paper program for the event. The program is one of my favorite things about conferences. Next, I made my way around the exhibitors’ tables. I was impressed with the number of exhibitors. There were authors, podcasters, and organizations. Lots of free pamphlets and books for purchase. I believe most, if not all, of these books were memoirs of authors in this community. I loved seeing so many people bravely sharing their stories in their own ways. I bought tickets for a chance to win the gift baskets being raffled off. I later learned that the money goes toward the conference to keep prices affordable and to help others attend who may not be able to on their own.
Open Mic Night
Open mic night intrigued me as a performer. Even though comedic expression was emphasized, there was openness to expressing oneself in different ways, such as song or poetry. Allowing the participants to showcase their voices is very empowering. As a collective, we have been so silenced. I love that people had a chance to stand on stage and speak about their experience. Being seen and heard is a beautiful part of healing our wounds.
keynote speaker
Opening the conference was Leslie Pate Mackinnon, LCSW, speaking about “uncovering our history, restoring identity, reimagining the future.” I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Leslie share about her life as she is deep yet playful, and the way she shares her story is full of grace. I walked away feeling validated and hopeful about my own future. I felt inspired to keep moving forward and to share my voice more with the world. I ran into Leslie at the coffee station at breakfast one morning. Our interaction was delightful, and I felt a sense of ease being in her presence. Connecting with her for a few moments is one of my highlights.
Plenary Speaker Panel
“Honoring the Past, Embracing the Future” with Brian Post, Joseph McGill, and Aaron Long. Each gentleman was captivating in his own way as he shared his personal story and perspective. All three of these gentlemen are great storytellers with their own style. I learned how babies’ experiences in the womb continue to influence them throughout their lives, and how children may grow up in the same household but have completely different realities. I learned about some of the complexities of black history, navigating the different layers of being a non-expectant parent, and interesting facts related to sperm donation. Each speaker brought a different perspective, while also contributing to the message of honoring the past and embracing the future. Bryan Post gifted everyone one of his books: From Fear To Love: Parenting Adopted and Foster Youth. Maybe I’ll do a book review in the future. We will see.
Educational Sessions I attended
I’m going to share my experience and thoughts about each one; I’m not going to divulge specific content because that’s not for me to share. I picked a few writing sessions, not necessarily because they were writing but because they were the most aligned with me personally.
The Business of Identity Building — Oliver and Melissa Leembruggen
If a title has the word identity in it, I’m probably going to attend. I always enjoy learning about identity, and this session gave an alternative view. I left reflecting differently on “who am I?” I was refreshed in the concept of how much I am doing and how much I am being in the world. I found the message of the presentation to be empowering and practical.
Therapy That Understands: Working With a Therapist Who Gets It — Jason Hobbs, LCSW, Mdiv, Sheridan Anderson, MA, LCPC, Lisa Coppola, M.ED, LMHC, LCPC
This is such an important topic, and I was excited to see it listed, as I am very passionate about this topic. I’m a huge advocate for therapy. As a former therapist myself and having been on my own trauma therapy journey after leaving the profession, I know the value of choosing a therapist who understands. I found the information to be practical and insightful. Topics that came up include: self-disclosure, insurance, EMDR, and using intuition to guide decisions. An emphasis was placed on the therapeutic alliance, aka the relationship between the client and therapist. One person mentioned the importance of working with a therapist who is curious rather than assuming things about the client. This session explored many important aspects of the process of finding the right therapist. I enjoyed hearing about each person’s experience. I believe this session gave the audience a well-rounded perspective on what to consider when choosing a therapist who gets it.
The Power of Storytelling to Inspire — Elizabeth Barbour, Jean Winner, Steve Osborne
This session was full of advice from three published authors who have all written books representing the themes of the conference. Each of the authors briefly shared about themselves and their writing journeys. I loved that they took questions from the audience at the beginning and circled back around to answer each one toward the end. We were given writing prompts, and I was able to answer them easily while also finding depth. Hearing that we heal when we write, and others heal when they read what we’ve written, was a beautifully encouraging statement for those of us who are writing our stories or are even thinking about writing our stories. This session had a natural flow and kept my attention with the different elements and opportunities for the audience to be interactive.
Writing the Truth: Identity, Inheritance, and the Stories We Don’t Choose — Amy Jauman
I thoroughly enjoyed this session; it may have been my favorite. I met Amy during the writing focus group, and I was excited to learn more from her. I loved hearing about her unique perspective from being a ghostwriter. Her effortless confidence pulled me in, and her practical advice helped give tangible action steps for writing. I found this session very empowering. Amy lets us know that our stories don’t need an ending to be told. I know I have struggled with this. I have resisted sharing my story out in the wild because I felt like I hadn’t accomplished enough to be a story of inspiration for others. But perhaps there is just as much power, or even more, in sharing stories that are still unfolding because they are more relatable.
Trolls and Other Internet Friends that Help You Tell Your Story — Brad Ewell
This was a very fun and meaningful session. It was the perfect session to finish out the conference for me. When I was deciding on the last session I would attend, I will admit, I wasn’t instantly drawn in by the title of this one. I experienced some resistance at first, but I eventually landed on curiosity.
I spend a tremendous amount of time in the comment section on social media. If I’m feeling really curious, I even go to Reddit to see what people are saying about the influencers or infamous humans. There is so much hate online. It is mystifying as to how some humans have it in them to be so harsh about other humans. This reality is one of the reasons I have held myself back in terms of sharing my story and unique viewpoints out in the wild.
I will say I thoroughly enjoyed this session. Brad’s presence and manner of speaking put me at ease; his unique viewpoints kept me captivated. He took this scary topic of getting trolled online and made it less daunting, and brought a sense of empowerment when navigating difficult people online. Brad has embodied his story and shares it in a way that helps me be excited to get out there, too, and begin to share mine. The insights that Brad shared were insightful, empowering, and practical.
Other Session Topics
Topics ranged from dealing with rejection, healing from being a late discovery, identity, grief of liminal loss, strategies for genealogical research, preparing for first contact with a biological parent, and many more. There was a very nice balance of sessions that were tailored to specific experiences & broader sessions that anyone could be interested in.
CEU Sessions
There were CEU sessions for therapists available at each time slot. I did not attend any of these, but the topics included: rejection, grief, building complex family relationships, healing attachment wounds, and more. Quite a few professionals were attending the conference, which is amazing. Having a therapist who understands this world is vital for those seeking therapy who have experienced relinquishment, DNA surprises, being donor-conceived, and anything else in this realm. Therapists who specialize in or have knowledge of these specific topics create a much stronger foundation for the therapeutic alliance and are better able to meet their clients where they are.
FOcus Groups
There was an opportunity to be part of a focus group. The focus group met in person at the conference and twice on Zoom, before and after the conference. I chose the writing focus group. We went around the table and shared a little bit about ourselves at the beginning. We had an open discussion about our struggles with writing. Most of the discussion was focused on the journey to getting published. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the advice and lived experience of those who shared. I have researched this topic a lot on my own. I gained so much more wisdom in this group than I could have by randomly searching the internet. Being able to hear in person from people who have walked the journey that I am interested in walking was so valuable. It is said that being in the energy of the people who are doing the thing that you want to do is so much more expansive than just reading the information online.
Some themes of the different focus groups were: Ethnicity, Genealogy, Legislation, Men’s Focus, Support Partners, and more. I love that there were so many to choose from. I believe that each group met once in person at the conference and twice on Zoom, before & after.
Films shown
There were four films shown at the conference. Three films were shown in separate rooms on the first full day. And one film was shown on the second full day in the large room that I did not attend. The film I chose to watch the first evening was Father Unknown by David Quint. What a beautifully moving film. I related to many things throughout this film, and I could feel the bravery coming through. Emotions of grief and joy radiated off the screen. The film inspired me to keep creating my own work. David Quint is a powerful storyteller.
What I loved
I love a great conference, and this one exceeded my expectations. The educational sessions, the schedule, and the flexibility to pace myself. The ability to be in the same vicinity as other humans on a similar path to me was refreshing. I am a detail-oriented person, and I found so many thoughtful details throughout the entire conference. I never knew what to expect, and I remained interactive the whole time. I loved how so many different people were lifted up and given a chance to shine.
The whole conference felt very warm and inviting. Because this conference deals with such deep topics, there is more grace to pace yourself and take a moment for yourself if you need it. It’s not easy immersing yourself in the realm of your own personal brand of trauma, surrounded by so many people, and it can be overwhelming. There is a sense of community felt here that I’ve never felt before at any other conference I’ve attended. These themes naturally invite people who are doing the work, as we say. The conversations you have bring a sense of realness that doesn’t happen at other conferences. You will meet people who are further along in their healing journey, and you will meet people who might not be quite as far. There is an ease in being surrounded by people who understand something about you that most of the world doesn’t. I definitely felt like I belonged. I believe most of the participants were first-timers. I came across people who were there for the first time, and I came across people who have been to all three. It was amazing to see so many men at this conference, as I believe 25% of the participants were male.
What I would change
This is a new conference that happens every two years, so it is still growing as they continue to build it. The times listed on the program and online didn’t always line up, so sometimes it was off a few minutes. I did hear people complaining about it. It’s not something that really bothered me. I did spend extra time double-checking times, but that’s kinda normal for me anyway.
I do wish more time were spent on focus groups. I would have loved to meet again in person at the conference. I like the idea of meeting before and after, but not everyone can make the Zoom meetings. We have busy lives, and we are crossing different time zones.
After the Conference
I am glad I went to the conference. I loved honoring the theme that has been the undercurrent of what “makes me me.” For most of my life, I was in the adoption fog, believing that adoption didn’t affect me at all, that there was no trauma from being adopted. I believed I was the problem, that there was something wrong with me. I felt so different from everyone else. Everything that seemed easy for others felt incredibly difficult for me. For the last few years, I have begun leaning into how adoption shaped me as a human and laid the foundation for the rest of my life experiences. I’m very happy I attended the conference. I feel expanded, encouraged, & inspired to begin the work that I have been waiting for the right time to begin.
Save The Date
The next Untangling Our Roots Summit will be held in Seattle, Washington, from March 30—April 2, 2028. Will I see you there?
What Should I Review Next
Let me know where I should go next and review. I love conferences, retreats, & workshops. I love learning about mental health and sharing my experience.
Talk soon,
Stephanie
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